My Heart Bleeds

They say, to see your child is to see your heart beating outside your body. 

I get it now.Because giving birth to one is like ripping one’s heart from inside the chest.
It’s painful, it’s breathtaking, it’s a miracle I survived. 

Gone has the day when I had nothing to lose. Now I have a life to lose. Somebody else’s, my child’s. My carefree day is over. 
To see him cry without knowing what to do is a torture. He was once part of my body, I should know! But I don’t always. 
To see him in pain is a pain in my whole body too
To see him play dangerously is to watch him hang my heart in a rope in a risk to drop it. 
Now that I have to give him up to the operation table, is to smash it and watch it crumble. It’s broken. It’s bleeding. It’s painful.

But this is for his own best. I have to do it sooner or later. and this is His call too. 
I should be strong. Because he will. And he is. 
Think about the days ahead, he will grow into a healthy young boy, to a big tall young man. And he is my son. 
He will make me proud. I will be rewarded. This pain will go away. It will be mended, and my heart will grow. I know my love is. 

So let us do it. In His name. Bismillah. 

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